dug up an old story...it's long, but true and amusing to those with
these extraordinary little beasts!
It's Not Easy Being "Moss Green!"
June 5, 2001 story, seven
"IN A WORD". . . "Extraordinary!"
A Fish Story. . . Words, words, there are a lot of them, and many ways to use them. There are many words to describe koi. The first ones that come to mind are... amazing and spectacular, that best describes their aura. Words to define their beauty... striking and magnificent. As far as words that best describe their demeanor... regal and majestic, I think say it best. Words that best portray their personality, well I guess that would be... friendly, and curious. To wrap up all these words and put them together "in a word" that best describes koi, my pick would be... "extraordinary!"
Having said all that first, I would now like to tell you... what these #$%@#&% fish are doing to my plants! Starting with my various floating plants, they are always munching on them. The intense sounds of the gnawing and chewing resonate loudly in my head! These fish are really beginning to get on my nerves! After they devour all my floating plants, my potted plants such as my beloved water lilies are under attack! They love to dig in the pots. Why? I don't know why! I can only imagine they are digging for worms. They are crazy for worms! Which, I give them practically everyday. But, no! That is still not enough! They still have to dig and dig with their heads buried deep in the muddy pots, tails flip flopping wildly back and forth in a frenzy! I tried putting stones on top of the dirt in the pots, only to have these beasts suck them up, wash them around in their mouths and spit them out! Helplessly, I watch as my beloved water lilies float topside. It calls for desperate measures! Like a madman, I jump in my pond and rescue my cherished lilies, replanting them and putting big, big, rocks on top of the pots! This is war, I declare! It's me against them! man vs. beast! Who posesses the superior intelligence!?! I remind myself, as I place anotherbig rockon top of my lily pot! Let me see them suck up these boulders and spit them out! ...
They are beginning to plot against me, I know it! After that, they seemed to band together like little soldiers, and begin their assault on my precious moss-rocks! Oh no! Not my moss rocks! I love my moss-covered rocks! At the risk of sounding like I'm whining . . . It took years, under the most absolutely perfect conditions, just enough moisture and sunlight for these rocks to look so awesome, snugly blanketed in lovely "moss green!" They are so beautiful that even a color was named after them! Oh my moss! My beautiful moss! These... striking koi actually have to lift themselves up halfway out of the water in order to reach the rocks, so that they can rip the moss from the rocks! I mean, ripping it off like a bad toupe! Then they have a tug of war, which in itself would be an awesome sight, if it weren't for the fact that they are ripping and tearing my precious moss to shreds! Shimmering boldly through out the water, they continue to tug and rip my beautiful moss. . . then they eat it! ...
So... like there is no plant life left in the pond for the eggs to survive, you know, when and if they can stop eating long enough to get amorous, that is! I begin to get worried . . . maybe I'm never gonna have spectacular little koi babies! So, I wonder what can I do? A simple plan, yes, I need a simple plan, I think! Alas, I come up with an ingenious plan! I'll float some of my leafy Euonymus plants in the pond. What a great idea! When they spawn, the eggs will be attached to the leaves, and than I'll simply pick up the plant and gently place it in my small pond to hatch! Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant, I smugly think to myself! I cut off several leafy branches and toss them into the pond at sunset! Ah! Something new, my couriouskoi think, as they fearlessly approach the unfamiliar foliage, weaving and bobbing around estatically, boiling the water in excitement! ..Ah ha! I think to myself, they get the idea already! Maybe my majestic koi, are finally having thoughts of amour! ....
Early the next morning, I return pondside, full of anticipation and eager to see whatzsup!. . . In utter amazement,I watched asmy regal andmagnificent koi, were boldly weaving throughout the pond, with the large and "now leaf-less" Euonymus branches firmly positioned in their jaws!!! I was just flabbergasted at this sight! All I could do was stand there totaly astounded by these amazing koi, watching them lug around the stripped branches, while in my head, I swear I could hear the background music to that movie, ya know, the one with the killer shark! ... thun, thun, thun, thun!.. thun, thun, thun thun!... I'm beginning to wonder (?) maybe I'm loosing this war! After all, I'm just one mortal man, and there is an army of them!... Who wants amazing little koi babies anyhow?...and yes, what best describes koi "in a word"... "extraordinary!"... This is a true story ...shrug... Cliff&Joann