The Daily Joker.

[Rajesh]

Assumptions can be dangerous!

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit… She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked,
"Champagne ?"

"No," said the little boy...........

"It's a puppy!"....

 

[Rajesh]

HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…

“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…






Husband to wife : U should learn to embrace your mistakes…..

She hugged him immediately.

 

[j.w]

 

[HARO]

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck.

Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

John

 

[HARO]

John

 

[HARO]

There were four churches and a synagogue in our town. A Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church . Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him and they haven't seen a squirrel on their property since!! ouch

 

[Angel]

Hope this edited one is ok

 

[HARO]

John

 

[MoonShadows]

 

[MoonShadows]

 

[HARO]

John

 

[MoonShadows]

 

[MoonShadows]

 

[j.w]

 

[HARO]

John