The Daily Joker.

[j.w]

 

[HARO]

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.

St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer ... for a couple months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? What if it doesn't work? Are they stuck in Heaven together, forever?

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "You may get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"Oh, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer??

 

[HARO]

John

 

[HARO]

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and lived to the age of 110.

He left 4 children, 20 grandchildren, 30 great-grandchildren, 10 great-great grandchildren and a fifty-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
John

 

[HARO]

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully.
No one answered.

"All right, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse isn't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
John

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]

 

[j.w]

 

[koiguy1969]

 

[MitchM]

The early bird gets the worm but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.




.

 

[JamieB]

M

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully.
No one answered.

"All right, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse isn't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
John

My dad laughed at that one. He’s an old cowboy

 

[texmaster]

 

[koiguy1969]

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]