ONE SIMPLE QUESTION....

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by koiguy1969, Feb 9, 2018.

  1. koiguy1969

    koiguy1969 GIGGETY-GIGGETY!!

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    koiguy1969, Feb 9, 2018
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  2. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    Oh god. You're not asking a serious question, are you? I can't even LOOK at that kitchen without retching!
     
    Lisak1, Feb 9, 2018
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  3. koiguy1969

    Angel

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    get taco bell
     
    Angel, Feb 10, 2018
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  4. koiguy1969

    sissy sissy

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    I would run out of the house fast and probably burn all my clothes when I got home
     
    sissy, Feb 10, 2018
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  5. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    This is one reason I never eat anything made in someone else's house unless I know them really well and have visited their home - ya just never know! I watched enough episodes of Hoarders to know that people can look perfectly normal and have homes that look like THAT.
     
    Lisak1, Feb 10, 2018
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  6. koiguy1969

    CountryEscape

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    Sadly, my brother's house looked much like this when I started trying to clean up his house for him about 7 or 8 years ago! He had had a stroke, and I was going up to where he lives about once a month to go to the doctor appointments with him. Since I was taking a day off work for the 2.5 hours of total driving time, I figured I might as well be helpful while I was there. The kitchen counter was stacked as high as he could get it, dishes in the sink had moldy food, and there were mouse droppings in the cabinets and drawers. He had spices and things like flour and rice that I know he had bought over 10 years ago, probably 30 years ago! I tosssed all of them, along with the mouse poo/pee! Some of the dishes I just tossed, they were stained with the mold. He had a raw turkey bone in a bucket that he said he had compost in. Maggots, stench out the wazoo ... told him you can't compost meat and bones. His reaction, "Why not? They decompose eventually!" Yes, they do ... but they attract animals and it's not healthy to put in compost pile. He's a genius, literally, but has about a -100 on the common sense meter. Sooo sad! I worked on one room at a time, sometimes took me two different trips to finish one room. Living room had flattened tv dinner boxes about 6" thick. He was going to recycle them. Milk gallon jugs with up to 1/3 gallon of milk still in them ... to be recycled. OMG, I hauled huge trash bag after trash bag out and it was still awful! I even cleaned up one of his upper bedrooms that he had a ferret running free in. That sucker had pooped along the wall all the way around the room! I washed on that wood floor for over 2 hours, and still was getting black water. I don't think it was possible to ever get it clean. I finally gave up on his house 6 months later. He's a hoarder, and he will never change, and I don't have the time to spend to keep up with it, or retrain him to stop his habits, since he lives too far from me. Oh, and he has all the signs of Aspergers, (sp?) so he is not usually nice and has a hard time carrying on a conversation. He's my brother, though, so I kept trying! I have him to my house for the holidays, the 4 other siblings are tired of having him. Ho hum ...
    Sorry for the tangent! But, I sure understand that photo! Been there, won't go back!
     
    CountryEscape, Feb 10, 2018
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  7. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    @CountryEscape - I feel your pain. My mom is a food hoarder. She's not dirty exactly - she just has way too much food. We recently moved her out of her house into an apartment and had to have a secret back door convoy to get rid of all the food we found stashed all over her house. FOOD EVERYWHERE. She could live for months and months and months without shopping - but she's at the grocery store twice a day, minimum. She called me yesterday to reassure me she had been to the store ahead of the snow storm... OH, THANK GOD MOM! It's like it's her hobby to run to the grocery store.

    We've gotten calls from neighbors, friends and even her church to say she is storing food in THEIR freezers because she has run out of room at home. Her pastor called me and asked me to tell her to stop bringing food to church events because they've noticed it's always expired. She tries to send us home with food or gives the grandkids bags of groceries - always expired. She makes food for the local homeless program, and takes great pride in "using up" food that she already has. I keep waiting for them to ask her to stop bringing food there, too.

    I tell myself it's a mental disorder and she really can't help it - but when you're the one who has to deal with the results, it's not easy.
     
    Lisak1, Feb 10, 2018
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  8. koiguy1969

    Dave 54

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    Seen a Kitchen like this after an alcoholic neighbour had a stroke nearly puked he gave me pickled onions every Xmas and his kitchen had been like it for a very long time , The social services wanted me to look after him, I was already caring for my Val so I politely said no .
    Personally I felt more sorry for his Elk Hound who was forced to live with him in all that filth



    Dave 54
     
    Dave 54, Feb 10, 2018
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  9. koiguy1969

    addy1 water gardener / gold fish and shubunkins Moderator

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    Our one tenant is a food hoarder, in Florida, but luckily just in cabinets and the refer. The house is kept clean, the cabinets so stuffed you can not put another item into them.

    We were going to tell her to move, but she is so sickly.
     
    addy1, Feb 10, 2018
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  10. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    My mom was buying all kinds of curios and cabinets and plastic tubs to store food in. We found canned goods and dry goods in every nook and cranny. And of course there’s no way to keep track of all that food so she had many many many of the same things in different places. I hate to think of all the waste. If there’s a buy one-get one free sale she’s there. If there’s a limit on how many sale items she can buy she will go multiple times. Or ask friends to buy for her. When she goes to my sister’s in CO she’s shopping and trying to get my sister to ship it all home for her. If she sees an ad for a new product she drops everything and runs to the store to get it.

    She’s almost 80 and eats like a bird so most of what she buys never even gets opened. When we were moving her she agreed to donate the excess to the food pantry but she had to choose what to give - she had one moving box with about 11 items in it, all opened or expired. She feels the poor should take whatever they can get and not be choosy. She grew up during the depression but my grandparents were not poor. This behavior has gotten bad in the last 15 or so years. I think it’s loneliness, but she denies it. She’s a difficult one to deal with. Everyone tells us age will slow her down - but I think she will just figure out how to order food online and get it delivered.
     
    Lisak1, Feb 10, 2018
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  11. koiguy1969

    CountryEscape

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    OMG, @Lisak1 unbelievable! I've never heard of someone being such a food hoarder. I agree, it's an illness and she cannot help it. Those Hoarder shows that try to "fix" those problems may fix it temporarily, but unless someone is there daily to keep it from accumulating again, it will never be a forever fix.
    My brother had 3 cats in his house when I started helping try to clean it up. He had 1 litter box, and probably never cleaned it out, maybe once a month. Unbelievable! Cats will use something else when the litter box is full, and that's what they did. He had clothes on the floor of his bedroom, never washed them, literally saw him pick up a suit coat from the floor, shake it out, and planned to wear it to a funeral I was picking him up to go to! OMG, we had to go shopping. That coat had been peed on by his cat, and I wouldn't even allow it in the trunk of my car, it stunk so bad.
    I have finally gotten him to understand the need to launder his clothes, and the cats are all gone now, thank goodness. I had to tell him to keep "good clothes" and suitcases in one room that the cats were not allowed in. That helped, too. When he comes to my house, I can actually stand for him to ride in my car! But, usually I have to wash his clothes while he is here. He doesn't smell it, but I do, even though it's wayyyy better than it had been! His house is till terrible, but it's his house. When he dies, it will be torn down.
    Saddest thing is that his house is 1 block from college campus, and is worth a LOT of money! His bicycle shop is also only a few blocks from campus, and although it's the messiest bike shop you will EVER be in (yes, we spent 2 days - 10 people - to clean and organize it, and that lasted only about 3 months ...), it is also worth a boat load of money. But, so far I have not been able to convince him to sell both, buy a smaller house with a garage, and take only some of the hundreds of bikes still in boxes, put one together a month for "spending money". He would live very well, but he's so frugal. He has an almost 30 year old BMW car that is currently not running ... again. Electrical issues, mechanic is scratching his head ... again. He could buy a new car, very nice house, and live high on the hog, but he refuses to see the reality. He thinks he HAS to keep the bike shop, but he rarely sells a new bike, MAYBE 1 per year! He sends away repair customers, because they have "cheap bikes". UGH!!! Again, he has Aspergers, and does not deal well with people, but we can't convince him to give up the shop and move. He's comfortable where he has been since college (he never left the college town).
     
    CountryEscape, Feb 10, 2018
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  12. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    We need a "my family member is a hoarder" thread here! See what you started @koiguy1969 !

    My mom's food hoarding is just the tip of the iceberg - she's really just an over shopper in all areas of her life. She has TONS of clothes. When we were moving her, we were going through her closet and she had 75 pairs of black pants, 50 pairs of brown, 60 pairs of gray, 40 pairs of tan... I'm not even exaggerating. And probably 100 pairs of blue jeans. All the same clothes over and over again. And shoes - oh my gosh. BUT! BUT! BUT! Literally every time we see her she is wearing the same sweatshirt, the same jeans and the same gym shoes. Every. Single. Day. same thing.

    And then there are the collections. She "collects" all the small figurines you can think of - Hummels and SnoBabies and Willow Tree Angels and... you name it. And decorative plates. Big ones, mediums sized ones, little mini ones And spoons. And thimbles. And holiday decor. She wants someone at her house before every holiday to help her switch out all the decorations in her house for the next holiday - and I mean down to the pictures on the walls, the pillows, the throws, the outdoor stuff... it's ridiculous. Holiday towels in the kitchen and bath, pot holders, candles, wall hangings, special dishes, garland everywhere... ugh. And please note the part where I said SOMEONE ELSE has to do all of this. She has no interest in actually DOING the work. She just wants it all done. And the woman who taught me to say "please" and "thank you" has lost the ability to be grateful for anything anyone does - she just assumes you have nothing better to do anyway and acts like she's doing YOU a favor letting you help her.

    My sister and I have become minimalists as a result. I recently read about the Swedish tradition of "death packing" and realized THAT'S ME! I'm slowly weeding through my possessions and getting rid of anything that isn't serving me well - either finding it a new home or trashing it as the situation requires. I've promised my kids that when it's my time to go - god willing I get a good long life! - I will have one suitcase left and hopefully it's full of cash for them to divide!
     
    Lisak1, Feb 10, 2018
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  13. koiguy1969

    sissy sissy

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    I had a friend back in NJ that used lots of coupons on triple coupon day at pathmark to buy stuff she did not need only because she had a coupon .I did the make a will stuff since family kept telling me i want that or this in my house .I finally ask them now .What are you planning on having me killed .My sons have certain things they want and i added those things in my will to go to them .This way greedy people do not touch it until they get the stuff they want .My lawyer has the right to lock every one out until the will is satisfied .You have to plan ahead .My one son had a request for the chihuahuas that were still alive .He wanted to make sure they were loved and taken care of .The house if I still have it will be divided up along with the bank accounts .But my younger son will get the penthouse condo in Danville .The house in Pittsville will go to the family I bought it for and if there is still money on the loan my sons have the option to forgive it or keep on the same payment of 200 dollars a month with no interest until it is payed off .Sad you have to always plan ahead .My pay forward
     
    sissy, Feb 10, 2018
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  14. koiguy1969

    koiguy1969 GIGGETY-GIGGETY!!

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    koiguy1969, Feb 10, 2018
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  15. koiguy1969

    j.w I Love my Goldies

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    I confess when I am out walking and find something useful on the road I am com-pulsed to drag it home. You know those little plastic containers that the very expensive Maryjane comes in now that you sometimes see laying by the side of the road? Well they make the best little tiny thing holders after you wash them up and they come in the prettiest colors :rolleyes:
     
    j.w, Feb 10, 2018
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  16. koiguy1969

    sissy sissy

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    I think we all have a little or big find a treasure and take it home syndrome .
     
    sissy, Feb 10, 2018
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  17. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    I had to read that three times to figure out what you were talking about! haha! We don't have that particular "product" for sale here yet!
     
    Lisak1, Feb 11, 2018
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  18. koiguy1969

    addy1 water gardener / gold fish and shubunkins Moderator

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    When my mom passed, my dad asked for us to clean out the house. My mom had tons of cloth, old canned food, years old! to dangerous to eat. I filled up a huge dumpster for him.
    The cloth, yarn etc was given away.

    Bags of the old publisher clearing house mailers, you will win tons.....................only had a path to the bed. Dad just wanted it all cleaned out. Spent the week home, after the funeral, cleaning his house out.

    Of course one crazy sis, wanted to save torn dresses, debris, i.e. treasures, told her fine, drag to your house.
     
    addy1, Feb 11, 2018
    #18
  19. koiguy1969

    Lisak1

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    There are savers and there are purgers - I definitely fall into the second category!

    As thanks for spending two weeks sorting through 45 years of "collecting" and packing and moving her to her new, clean, handicapped accessible apartment, my mom now calls my sister and I several times a day to ask "where is my WHATEVER or did you throw that out, TOO?"

    We had to force her to sit in the room we were working on and make decisions about every single item in her home - she had so many other things she wanted to do instead (including RUNNING TO THE STORE!) but we knew if we didn't make her participate, she would accuse us of throwing away important things. She was grouchy and crabby and mean as a wet hen the whole time, but we kept calling her back and making her pay attention. But she still insists we got rid of all her most prized possessions. She even asks us about things we KNOW she never had - yesterday she called me wanting to know what we did with her microwave omelet maker... HUH? She saw an infomercial and KNOWS she had one of those and has a taste for an omelet made in her microwave... RIGHT NOW. haha! I'm sure she was at Walmart picking one up before the sun went down.

    Dear God please help me remember to be kind to my family - if I don't remember a single other thing, please let me remember that!
     
    Lisak1, Feb 11, 2018
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  20. koiguy1969

    sissy sissy

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    When I retired from from NJ I gave everything away except clothes and my curio cabinet and my grandfather clock .Bought all new when we moved here and hubby and I enjoyed the hunt from all the outlet stores here that made furniture .Some one of a kind stuff that they made samples of for the furniture show in NC .Dirt cheap at outlet stores .coffee table and 3 end tables and a sofa table (stone and metal ) were only 100 hundred dollars for all 5 pieces brand new 1 of a kinds .They did not sell because they were heavy as heck
     
    sissy, Feb 11, 2018
    #20
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