The Daily Joker.

[HARO]

John

 

[HARO]

John

 

[HARO]

 

[j.w]

 

[j.w]

This is interesting ... An amazing 2-letter English word .

A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition. UP

Read until the end ... You'll laugh.

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?


At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.


To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.


And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.


We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!



To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.


If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!



Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U P !



Did that one crack you UP?

Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . Or not . . . it's UP to you.



Now I'll shut UP!

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]

 

[HARO]

John

 

[HARO]

Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family

planning lesson at school.

Her mother, very interested, asks: "Oh... How did it go"

"I nearly died of shame!" she answers.

"Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies.

Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.

Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."

"No... but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves.
John

 

[HARO]

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and both are fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew

John

 

[j.w]

 

[Mmathis]

This is a FaceBook post I made on a turtle group page a few days ago. Yes, it really happened! I actually carried 9 tubs of red worms into a restaurant AND Best Buy.....rather than leave them in the hot car!

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]

 

[HARO]

John