The Daily Joker.
- Thread starter DutchMuch
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j.w
I Love my Goldies
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YES THEY DO * * * * IN THE WOODS!
HARO
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John
HARO
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John
j.w
I Love my Goldies
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HARO
Pondcrastinator
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An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old,
Pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
"What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO.. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it , and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster! What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari? The doctor asks himself.
He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the
Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!
Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. He was feeling pretty good until he looked in his mirror and saw the old man gaining on him AGAIN !
Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari,
Demolishing the rear end.The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.
He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says,
"I'm a doctor...... Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers,
"Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror.
Pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
"What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO.. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it , and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster! What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari? The doctor asks himself.
He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the
Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!
Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. He was feeling pretty good until he looked in his mirror and saw the old man gaining on him AGAIN !
Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari,
Demolishing the rear end.The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.
He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says,
"I'm a doctor...... Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers,
"Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror.
HARO
Pondcrastinator
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John
j.w
I Love my Goldies
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Okay, I just NEED to vent . We are angry! We have had ENOUGH!
We will never help anyone again. EVER!! Either we're too kindhearted, too stupid, or too gullible!!
Out of the kindness of our hearts and because it was so cold out yesterday, we took a man into our home. Felt so sorry for him. Poor thing was frozen stiff, we had to carry him out of the cold.
This morning he just vanished. Not a word, not even "goodbye" or "thank you" for sheltering him!!
The last straw? I realized he had peed all over the living room floor!
Like SERIOUSLY
That's the "thank you" we get for being good to people?
Now we're going to warn our lovely friends/family to watch out for this man!
He is heavy set, and he's wearing nothing but a scarf. He has a nose that looks like a carrot, 2 black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks!!
Don't bring him into your house!
What a huge mess he made on our floor but he did leave me his scarf! He goes by the name of Frosty.
We will never help anyone again. EVER!! Either we're too kindhearted, too stupid, or too gullible!!
Out of the kindness of our hearts and because it was so cold out yesterday, we took a man into our home. Felt so sorry for him. Poor thing was frozen stiff, we had to carry him out of the cold.
This morning he just vanished. Not a word, not even "goodbye" or "thank you" for sheltering him!!
The last straw? I realized he had peed all over the living room floor!
Like SERIOUSLY
Now we're going to warn our lovely friends/family to watch out for this man!
He is heavy set, and he's wearing nothing but a scarf. He has a nose that looks like a carrot, 2 black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks!!
Don't bring him into your house!
What a huge mess he made on our floor but he did leave me his scarf! He goes by the name of Frosty.
HARO
Pondcrastinator
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John
j.w
I Love my Goldies
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- Arlington, Washington
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I would so love to do this but I don't think my hubby would take it as well as that guy!
mrsclem
mrsclem
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Almost as good as putting a rubber band on the kitchen spray nozzle!
HARO
Pondcrastinator
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John