walking the dog

[koiguy1969]

A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around
> > the block?' Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.' **
> > >
> > >'What's that mean?' asked the child.
> > >
> > >'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
> > >
> > >The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a
> > walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to
> > come to you.'
> > >
> > >Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline,
> > and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK,
> > you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the
> > block.'
> > >
> > >The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the
> > leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'
> > >
> > > The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so
> > another dog is pushing her home.'
> > >

 

[koiguy1969]

Should children witness childbirth? Good question.
>
>
>
> Here's your answer.
>
>
>
> Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.
>
>
>
> The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr
old
> girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped
> deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi
pushed
> and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted
him
> by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The
> paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old
> what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
>
>
>
> Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in
> the first place......smack his butt again!"
>
>
>
> (If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.)
>
>

 

[koiguy1969]

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts
> ; or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
>
> In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
>
> GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met
by
> your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning,
or
> are you flying somewhere?'
>
> BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
> perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and
> having the balls to say: 'You're next, fatty.'
>
> I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically
> speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result
> in death
>