The Daily Joker.

[Angel]

 

[Angel]

taken from "notalwaysright.com"

Just Keep It Away From The Bifrost
BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND, GEEKS RULE, HOME, RUDE & RISQUE, SILLY, USA | ROMANTIC | JUNE 9, 2018
(My girlfriend and I have not been intimate yet, but we can get a little frisky over the phone. At one point, I mention the necessity for her to come up with a name for my member.)

Me: “By the way, you should, like, probably think up a name to refer to… him.”

Girlfriend: *laughing* “Thor’s hammer!” *more laughter*

Me: “But his hammer was destroyed! By Hela’s grip nonetheless… his sister! Wow, I never put that together until just now. That’s kind of disturbing.”

Girlfriend: “But it’s an amazing name.”

Me: “You’re right. But are you worthy?”

Girlfriend: *arrogantly* “Well, I was able to lift it, so…”

Me: “Touché.”

 

[MitchM]

On the less racy side...

 

[j.w]

 

[koiguy1969]

 

[koiguy1969]

 

[Bluerooster]

Wow, just wow. That swift driver has brass something, and must think his trailer can turn on a dime!

Nah, That Swift driver is just a dumus. Or he/she wouldn't be working for Swift.

 

[koiguy1969]

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]

 

[JamieB]

Get hurt!

 

[texmaster]

 

[texmaster]