Will anyone help me with my new book?

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When I wrote the first three, JW and several others would read a new chapter every morning. They would spot errors, typos and make suggestions which was very helpful. I'm currently adding a private forum to my website which is my signature here. You will have to register to read it so I'll be protected from the spy bots. I have the copyright but still it's a good idea to have it private.

Be advised if you do this this book is a little racier than the first ones, it has some adult material and a lot of violence as well. Also be warned that I have a bad habit of including people that help me in my work. You may find your character in print.

If you'll do this, let me know here so I can activate your account.

thanks.

Felipe
 
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here's a look...

CHAPTER SIX



LOST





Miguel wiped the sweat from his brow as he watched the last of the bundles being loaded onto the plane. She was a little above her rated cargo limit of one thousand pounds with four hundred kilos of pure, uncut cocaine now on board. Still, he only had to make it to a private landing strip outside of Cancun. His only real concern was the weather, there was a nasty front that had stalled in the Caribbean. There were high winds and severe lightning reported in an area he had to travel through. Skirting the storm was not an option with his limited fuel supply. Still, he had done it before and his luck had held up. The last of the kilos were loaded so he went to work securing the load in the center of the plane with straps as the truck drove off through the jungle. Satisfied that the load was secure, he punched a speed dial number on his secure satellite phone and waited as it rang.
“Yes?” a voice answered.
“The load is secure and I’m taking off.” he said.
“Call me as soon as you land or if there is any trouble.” the voice said then there was a click and the line went dead.

He folded the phone closed then went through his pre flight check off procedure. Satisfied that all was well, he started the plane then took off into the clear blue skies of Bolivia. Flying low below the radar, he was waiting until he cleared Bolivian air space until he finally cleared the coast. He then gained altitude and engaged the auto pilot. The hours dragged on and soon his chin dropped to his chest as he dozed off.

He didn’t see the sky darkening or the flashes of lightning in the distance. Entering the edge of the storm, the plane rose then suddenly dipped in the gale force winds. He awoke with a start as he looked through the windshield into the pitch black night. Bright flashes of lightning lit up the nose of the plane and the driving rain. He flipped off the autopilot and rubbed his eyes. Pouring a cup of hot coffee, he tried to gain altitude to try to get above the turbulence. The plane struggled under it’s load Normally a nimble aircraft, the controls felt like mud as he slowly climbed and he regretted exceeding the load limit.

Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck the starboard engine setting it on fire. He feathered the propeller and hit the button for the fire extinguisher on that engine but saw the propeller slowly slow down and then stop. Normally he could still fly with only one engine, but with this load he watched as his altimeter clicked off the numbers. He was dropping like a rock. He flipped open his phone and hit the redial button, the seconds seemed like hours as he waited for the ring. On the fifth ring he again heard the voice, “Yes?”
“Lightning struck my starboard engine! I’ve lost it! I’m going down!” he screamed above the storm.”
“What are your coordinates?” the voice quickly asked.
He looked at the GPS and read off the coordinates. “I will dispatch a rescue immediately, do not let the plane sink. Activate your emergency locator beacon.”
“Send help now!” he screamed as he plummeted below five hundred feet.

“I will, stay with the plane.” the phone clicked off. He thrust it into his pocket and fought the controls. He was coming in to steep and too fast, with the plane loaded beyond it’s capacity, it was useless. He saw the water and huge waves rushing up at him as the lightning flashed. He screamed as his plane slammed into the water and sank immediately. Knocked unconscious by the impact, Miguel drowned in seconds.

Alberto Genaro clicked the mouse on his computer, he pulled up a radar view of the current weather, then entered the coordinates. The angry red area of the screen was centered on the coordinates. He knew that a rescue was futile and the entire load was lost. Still, he opened his phone and made a call.
 

j.w

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Bullfrog I will be able to read when we are around but w/ DH just retiring we are planning on doing some camping etc. so I can check in now and then. I tried to join the site and I joined but I guess it made me a web site or something kind of member and I don't want a web site of my own so that was a mess up on my part.Now I don't know how to get rid of it. You can add me as a member the right way now :cool:
 
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JW, when you go to my web site by clicking my signature link, scroll down to the forums. You will only see two as the rest are for members only. will see "sign in" and will have to register as a new user. I then have to approve any new user to see that forum.
 
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Well I don't see you there. Under the forums you have to choose "Members only goldfish Two" and register, then i can approve you. Thanks JW JW
 
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JW, here is the intro..

Welcome to the rat's nest, the home of friends and books written by Felipe Fernandez. Here you can interact with the author, make comments, get sneak peeks of upcoming books and even make suggestions that I may use in future work. Please join and participate in the users forum.

Right under that to the right you will see "sign in with Weebly"

Register there. Thanks
 

j.w

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Ok guess I was already registered right cuz I'm there under jw-jw but all it show is 1 member ditchdoctor and not me added so I guess you have to add me somehow. I see me there but not in the member section. I show up under the search bar.
 

j.w

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Are you Jim, malak? How come I can't sign in? I joined and I don't show up :rolleyes:
 
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I don't know why you aren't showing up JW, maybe Malak can tell you how he did it because he is showing. I have a glitch on my pc, I have to reboot it to make my external hard drive wake up. that's where my books are stored. I also have Mozy backup in case my hard drive fails.

The proof copies of "Vengeance" and "Goldfish" arrived yesterday. All I have to do is proof read them then hit "approve" and the paperbacks will be available. I've found a few errors but not enough to make me want to recall them. If I correct these few minor errors then resubmit, they will have to print then send me a new proof to read and approve. I've read books by professional authors that have been proofread by professional proofreaders and still have mistakes.

I'm over half way through Goldfish now and unless I find a glaring error I will approve it today. I want it available as John and Debra will really push it down in Mexico and this will kick start my sales. Hopefully if people on vacation read and like it, they will buy the others and give me a good review on Amazon.

If you click on this link, you will see my books and you will see 5 stars. There is a ( ) with a number in it like (3) next to the stars. These are reader reviews, if you click there you can see what others have said about my books. If anyone has a Kindle you can download my books here...

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...=vengeance+is+mine+felipe+fernandez&x=12&y=14
 
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Here's chapter one, short and sweet...

CHAPTER ONE



THUNDER ON THE CARIBBEAN




Manuel Diego and his wife Lola were sitting at Senor Frog's in Playa Del Carmen with a worried look on their face. Manuel was a very wealthy man, he controlled most of the internet servers for the Yucatan as well as a lot of South America. Their only son, six year old Miguel had been kidnapped and held for a three million dollar ransom. The meeting had been set up for ten minutes ago and they still saw no sign of their son or his captors.

“Relax.” Felipe said, “They'll be here.”
“How can I relax? You told me not to even bring the ransom, you still haven't told us what you intend to do or how you are going to get him back!”
Felipe reached under the table and slid out two large suitcases. He looked around the bar, then laid one down and flipped the latches. He opened it briefly revealing neatly banded stacks of hundred dollar bills, then closed it again.
“You are paying the ransom?” Lola asked.
“It's not real money, oh it will pass any test I promise you. Andre printed these up on a laser printer. He used the same type of material that goes into all money, cotton and linen fibers. But the ink is special. It will fade within eight hours.” Felipe smiled.
“What good will that do? They will be outraged and come back for revenge! They may even kill him the next time!” Manuel said urgently but quietly.
“I know Hector Garcia, I promise you he won't send hired guns to pick up this amount of money. He'll let them do the exchange, but he will be nearby to receive the money himself. He wouldn't trust his men with this amount of money.” Felipe said, looking out to sea, “Here he comes now, late as usual.”

They looked out to see a very large white yacht with elegant lines motoring toward the shore. It slowed to a stop then dropped its anchor. The yacht swung on the tide until the stern was facing them.
“But once the ink fades, then he will be outraged.” Manuel continued.
“I told you to relax, I have this all under control.” Felipe smiled at them.
They heard the deep diesel engine stop then a large gate swung down on the back of the craft creating a ramp down to the water. Lola gasped and put her hands to her mouth as she saw them place little Miguel in an inflatable Zodiac boat. Three men pushed it down the ramp then got inside. They started the motor and approached the shore.

“Take the suitcases to the shore.” he told them, "Both of you."
They rose and walked down to the sandy shore placing the suitcases on the ground. The Zodiac quickly closed the gap and nosed ashore. One man got out as Miguel sat between the other two. Felipe watched as the men had a brief conversation, then the man took the suitcases and put them down into the boat. He opened one, then the other. He closed them and nodded at the other men who released Miguel. He got up and ran to his mother's arms. She hugged and kissed him, then they walked back to the table.

Felipe tousled Miguel’s hair, then reached into his shirt pocket and took out a small remote control with one red button on it, he handed it to Manuel, “As soon as the yacht starts its motor, press this button.” Felipe smiled.
They watched as the Zodiac nosed up onto the ramp. A man wearing a white leisure suit stood waiting for the suitcases to be handed to him. He placed them on the deck opening them and looking inside, “That is Hector Garcia.” Felipe said.

The men boarded and the Zodiac was pulled up, then the ramp closed. After just a few moments, the deep rumble of the engine sounded across the water. Manuel pushed the button on the remote and a huge explosion blew the entire yacht apart. A giant orange fireball rolled up into the sky as people along the dock and in the bar screamed in fright. A large cloud of thick black smoke roiled up into the sky, then slowly cleared. All that remained of the yacht was a lot of scattered debris floating and bobbing on the waves.

“A lot of witnesses will say that the yacht exploded as soon as the engines started . They will come to the obvious conclusion that they didn't use their exhaust ventilator fans as they should have to remove the fuel vapors from the engine compartment resulting in the explosion. No law enforcement officer is going to waste any time over a piece of shit like Hector.” Felipe smiled.
“What do we owe you?” Manuel asked.
“You owe me nothing, it is good to see your son returned and the family together again.”
“Thank you Felipe.” Lola said rising, hugging him and kissing his cheek. Manuel smiled as he shook his hand, “If I can ever help you, don't hesitate to call me.”
Felipe smiled, turned and walked away.
 

j.w

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Love it Bullfrog! It is nice to be able to read your stories again. I have missed them. Thank you for letting us have a peek at this latest treasure :lol:
 
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Thank you JW. You know the history of the characters so the story makes a lot more sense to you than it does others. Some of the chapters are really long but chapter two is also short...


CHAPTER TWO



PROPOSAL




Felipe went to the pool house and rang the bell. Carmen opened the door and smiled at him as Sophia ran out and jumped into his arms, “Why don't the two of you pack some towels and bathing suits, there is somewhere I'd like to take you this morning."

They both walked away as he closed the door and sat by the pool. After a few minutes they came out with beach bags hanging from their shoulders. They walked together to the landing strip and boarded his plane. He taxied down the runway then eased the throttle forward. The plane roared down the runway and sprang lightly up into the clear sky. He banked over the Caribbean then set the autopilot and sat back in his seat pouring coffee out of a thermos and handing another with orange juice to Carmen.

They sipped their drinks and made small talk listening to Santana. After several hours, a coastline came into view so Felipe flipped off the autopilot and took the controls.
“Where are we?” Carmen asked.
Felipe looked at her and smiled, “Tortuga, this is where our relatives lived while they were pirates, for a very long time. I want to show you something here.”

He took the radio and called the tower at the airport requesting and receiving permission to landed. They then rented a car and drove to the marina. The girls went into a changing room and got into their bathing suits while Felipe rented a boat. Coming out of the changing room, they walked to the pier and jumped onto the boat.

Felipe jammed the throttle forward and the powerful boat surged out of the marina. He followed the GPS along the coastline until he spotted a cove. He turned into the sheltered cove, “This is where the Vengeance was hidden. Their village was just beyond the tree line over there.” he pointed at an area on the shore. He eased off the throttles and gently nosed the boat onto the sand of the shore. He then pulled the boat up more with the bow rope as the girls jumped off into the shallow water.

Following the hand held GPS they walked through the jungle. There was no trace of the village left. The jungle had reclaimed it, only an opening void of larger trees suggested that anything had ever been built here. They stood looking around for a few minutes then Felipe led them up a game trail that led up the mountain. A deep rumbling sound could be heard coming through the jungle.

The rumbling got louder, “What is that?” Sophia asked.
“You will see, it's a surprise.” Felipe smiled at her. They turned a corner in the trail and all of them stopped. Sophia's mouth hung open in a look of surprise that turned to delight. A huge waterfall over a hundred feet tall poured tons of white water down where it thundered onto a ledge of stone, then cascaded down into a clear pond. They could see fish swimming in the pond as white bird with long legs stood in the shallows hunting minnows.

“It's beautiful!” Sophia shouted, “Can we swim here?”
“Yes, this is where they swam, bathed and drew fresh water, go ahead.” Felipe said.
Sophia took off running as Felipe turned to Carmen. He took her hand in his, then knelt on one knee looking into her eyes, “ I love you, I have loved you for quite some time now and I love Sophia. Will you marry me?”
Tears came to Carmen's eyes and she wiped them, “Yes, yes I'll marry you. I have dreamed of this.”
Sophia squealed and they looked at her, she was clapping her hands and smiling looking at them, “Did he ask you?” she shouted.
Carmen just nodded her head smiling, “Well, what did you say?” Sophia shouted. Again Carmen nodded her head yes. Sophia squealed again and ran to them hugging their legs.

Felipe hugged her back then turned and swatted her bottom, "Now go swim so I can change." She ran off toward the water giggling as Carmen followed her. Felipe stepped into the jungle and put on his swimming trunks then ran and dove into the water.
 

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