CW's Back Yard Water Garden Begins!

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What a week! Dad and I drove 2.5 hours out to what turned out to be a FUCKING SWAMP ASS HOG FARM. Sorry to yell obscenities. It's the only appropriate way to communicate this story.

I was up to my ankles in pig shit loading pallets of milk crates caked in the same onto Dad's truck and boat trailer (sorry/thanks Dad).

The dude got these things from another farm who delivered expired milk and eggs in them for his pigs to eat and, subsequently, poop all over. He said they decided they didn't want their crates back after he was done with them. No kidding?

I mean, this place was straight out of Deliverance. Gave me the heebie jeebies.

Anyway, I ended up with 400 crates loaded and immediately entered my rigging job into the redneck olympics:

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I got the crates back to my house Monday night and these things were so filthy I ended up spending every spare moment until tonight power washing the dried pig dung and farm stench off of them. That's what I get for being a cheap skate.

I'll say, though, the efficiency engineer in me enjoyed finding the fastest way to clean all these crates. I got a pretty good system going.

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I wonder how many people search for "fastest way to clean a bunch of milk crates?" I have the answer now, and will be publishing an ebook about it at my new website, milkcratesecrets.com. Hint: you need a small boulder to hold your stacks together or they blow over from the power of the washer.

Just as the sun was setting this evening, I stacked the last of them into the garage and wiped my poo speckled brow:

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The easter egg in that photo is the shrink-wrapped box in the lower right corner, which holds a new 25x30 liner for the wetland.

Next, the real fun begins—hiding them all underground. Won't be this weekend, though. Busy potty training our toddler. So... more poop to deal with.

Then it's onto finishing the in-pond retaining wall and rocking my way out of the bottom of the pond. Like a true soap opera, we're going to leave this story line as a cliff hanger to pick up another one. The hog turd milk crate adventure will reappear later.
 
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Ha, Ha, HA !!!!!
You will never look at Barbecued Ribs or a pork chop the same.
Just remember that all of that hog poop, smells like money to that farmer.
 
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Oh my gosh... this made me LOL! I mean, once you got there what else were you going to do but LOAD EM UP! And look how nice they look now!

Here's a pro-tip for you - don't use the power washer on the toddler, no matter how bad it gets!
 
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As a person who is all about the adventure and the ride. That sounds down right like a shittty time. And the story is priceless. Look on the bright side. I dont care how many times you wash those . They are going to give you a boost on cycling your pond. And i would definately consider beneficial bacteria to help neutralize the swine
 
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Me thinks ill spend the money for aquablocks somethings just don't warrent such an aromatic adventure.
 

cas

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Pond stories are priceless. Fun to share when people come over and admire your pond.
 
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There's one reason and one reason only why the cop didn't pull you over!
5615.jpeg
you dont look like this
 
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Thanks for the compliment .!though I've been told more then once I'm full of sh_t
 
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Waiting to see the progress from. The weekend
 

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