Why do people ask for help, then don't listen.....don't learn?

[Jeff Zimnisky]

Thank you John Huff.

 

[tbendl]

Thank you John Huff.

 

[tbendl]

I think sometimes it's about the delivery not the message. In other words you can politely tell people they are stupid or wrong.

 

[Troutredds]

I try to only to give advice on things that have worked for me as most of us do. Subjects I don't know much about I stay away from. My pond is pretty simple w/goldfish and a nice sized pond for my liking w/ waterfall and simple filters and plants. Did lots of looking before I built and now happy w/what I have.............well you always want more but for now I am happy. I enjoy what it turned out to be and enjoy sharing what I have learned w/ the new people I meet and sometimes it does get frustrating when I read all the good info lots here give to new ponders and then we never see them again. You win some, you lose some, what can you do. It's just like that in the real world too...............well you know what I mean, the flesh and blood seeing is believing real world. I'm happy w/ all the winners who have stuck around here and have become friends w/ lots of you. We don't all agree and we sometimes bicker back and forth but we stick around and get over it and move on and remember that ponding is supposed to be for fun and enjoyment and relaxation and learning. So we love what we do and we want to share so we do. Let them that listen and learn do what they choose and if they stick around and learn more than all the better. One more ponder to go on to help someone else in what they learned. We all learn from each other in success and failure of which I have had both. Just keep on doing and learning.

I like what Leo wrote:

Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I don't generally give any advice here. There seems to be a healthy balance of members who who need advice and those that need to give advice. For me, this forum is a ponder's buffet - I take what I like and leave what I don't.

I found this out a long time ago. That's human nature. If you're looking for gratitude, forget it. I used to work in a library as a kid. Sometimes I'd spend a lot of time helping someone look for a book or something for their project. After I'm done, they just turn away without a thank you.

So yeah, if you're doing this for something other than yourself, forget it. And that is one of the reasons why Waterbug is no longer here. The more I learn about ponds, the more I find that WB is correct. Not only that, but his attitude regarding people is true too, only he took it too personally. He's getting the same grief from his new hangout but too proud to come back here.

There are a couple of people here who's always looking for a fight. I discovered the "ignore" button and now no longer see their posts.

Mmathis: Dave54 is funny, he yelled at a guy for doing exactly that. I just deleted my posts. Remember, don't look for people to thank you. They're not dogs.

Amen, Brother Huff. We all serve our own purposes.

 

[Lisaebetten]

It's because they are idiots!

Nice

 

[HARO]

I think sometimes it's about the delivery not the message. In other words you can politely tell people they are stupid or wrong.

And how, exactly, does one do that?
John

 

[CometKeith]

Mmathis, There is an irony when someone builds a brand new pond. They all want really clean water and a lots of pretty fish right at the beginning to show off to family, friends, and neighbors especially after all the digging and planning involved.. Now we all know that's a recipe for disaster ie heavy bio-load and water with no algae that never cycled and probably lots of store bought chemicals thrown in, but try to explaining that to them..... Of course they won't listen! Maybe someone needs to write a book: " Idiots guide how to build a pond with lots of algae and just a few fish for year 1" Would anyone buy it?

 

[Mmathis]

I found this out a long time ago. That's human nature. If you're looking for gratitude, forget it. I used to work in a library as a kid. Sometimes I'd spend a lot of time helping someone look for a book or something for their project. After I'm done, they just turn away without a thank you.

So yeah, if you're doing this for something other than yourself, forget it. And that is one of the reasons why Waterbug is no longer here. The more I learn about ponds, the more I find that WB is correct. Not only that, but his attitude regarding people is true too, only he took it too personally. He's getting the same grief from his new hangout but too proud to come back here.

There are a couple of people here who's always looking for a fight. I discovered the "ignore" button and now no longer see their posts.

Mmathis: Dave54 is funny, he yelled at a guy for doing exactly that. I just deleted my posts. Remember, don't look for people to thank you. They're not dogs.

Oh, not for me at all -- I just needed to vent more than anything. I'm just amazed at people's motives (?) maybe is the best way to say it. Why ask for help when you [probably] know you're not going to follow the advice you get from experienced ponders? I recall a lady little over a year ago who got downright beligerent and was saying some pretty nasty stuff. I drew the line when she said that she didn't care if she killed her fish, they were her fish, and she'd just get more, etc., etc. She was reported, warned, and finally asked to leave the forum -- now that's bad when a GPF Admin. kicks you off!

I ask for advice at times. I don't always follow the advice, in fact as a result of the advice I receive, I might end up dropping an idea all together. Sometimes just the process of typing out my question is enough to help me think it through. Ah, ha! Light bulb moment! "Think it through" Hmmm.......

I think sometimes it's about the delivery not the message. In other words you can politely tell people they are stupid or wrong.

So true, and some people are just so darn much better at it than others...... LOL, I usually mean well, but sometimes what comes out doesn't convey the correct tone for the message. Wish I had that gift, Oh well

And back to @JohnHuff I know what you mean about the ones looking for a fight. It's bad though, when the OP is the one who argues back when we try to help -- geesh! So, I didn't know there was an "ignore" button......? I try to ignore the questions/comments and not get caught up in the fight, but you say there is a button?

 

[JohnHuff]

but you say there is a button?

Click on the miscreant's name. You'll get a pop-up. On the top right is the ignore link. Click that and you won't see any posts from that person. It's kind of weird sometimes to see other people respond to something but it's worth it.

 

[Mmathis]

Click on the miscreant's name. You'll get a pop-up. On the top right is the ignore link. Click that and you won't see any posts from that person. It's kind of weird sometimes to see other people respond to something but it's worth it.

OK, I've seen that, but didn't know the significance. Thanks. Maybe that explains why none of my posts get answered.........l

Just kidding (I hope).

 

[JohnHuff]

I wonder why @Mmathis hasn't replied to me yet...

 

[dieselplower]

Ignore can also be used on people who just won't learn. You can throw pages of facts at them but they still fail to comprehend. Works wonders.

 

[dieselplower]

Nice

I've noticed you just can't resist me! Can't blame you. Women love me.

 

[Mike in Vermont]

I have learned a lot from this thread.

 

[Mmathis]

Ignore can also be used on people who just won't learn. You can throw pages of facts at them but they still fail to comprehend. Works wonders.

Not a bad idea -- kinda like parents talking to teenagers, but in reverse......"Huh? What did you say, Mom? Oh, sorry, I had you set to 'ignore.'"

I have learned a lot from this thread.

Hopefully, you've learned about "advice etiquette," LOL! Looks like you're pretty new here, but from talking to my Hubby, I realize this is a universal people-issue, not unique to the GPF. Or were you referring to Dieselplower's magnetic personality?