2011 Jokes

[DrDave]

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I'd like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 

[j.w]

Good one DrDave :lol:

 

[robchester06]

LOL nice one

 

[taherrmann4]

funny one!!!!!!

 

[koiguy1969]

funny stuff!
I'm half Polish, so i can ask this riddle..
Q..How do you sink a Polish battleship?
A...put it in water!!

 

[mouseams]

A man picked up an American Indian that was hitchiking in the reservation. The Indian was quite quiet the entire trip. The driver kept making small talk, to which the Indian would just reply "Hmm". Finally after about an hour the Indian looks down and sees a bottle of wine. He asks the driver, "How you get this?" The driver replied, "I traded it for my wife." The Indian says, "Hmm, good trade."

 

[j.w]

A man is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's happened? What's the holdup?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Al Gore, John Kerry, Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are asking for $10 million in ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car taking up a collection.

The driver asks, "On average, how much is everyone giving?"

"About a gallon."

 

[DrDave]

Love it! They forgot Pelosi